


Is This Really Happenings To Me?

by venturahighway



Series: Oskuld [2]
Category: Metalocalypse (Cartoon)
Genre: Exposition Heavy, First Kiss, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Pre-Canon, idk i don't wanna give it away, its more in this one than the other one but imo still not a whole lot, just a lot inside toki's heads.. his thoughts and feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 12:16:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19062505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/venturahighway/pseuds/venturahighway
Summary: Between the time of Toki's recruitment and Dethklok making it big, Toki learns a little about pleasure.





	Is This Really Happenings To Me?

**Author's Note:**

> This is less straightforward than the first part and much more a look inside Toki's head with a ton of exposition and personality exploration! I had a lot of fun thinking about Toki's character and what he thinks of himself and others in a period of time where he's just starting to get his bearings but still very much innocent to a lot of stuff... Really hope you like it! :-)

Some time had passed since Toki had been signed on with Dethklok, and it sometimes felt to him like a never ending dream. It wasn't so long ago he was perpetually cold and hungry, both when living with his parents and also after he had escaped, sleeping in whatever alleyway seemed the coziest. But now he had the great boon of friendship, propelling him through the days and nights, keeping him warm even if the weather was cold.

Although he was in his early 20s, he still looked basically 12 with a boyish frame and face, so Toki decided the easiest and most logical step would be to grow some facial hair. Strangely, however, he couldn't get the hair to grow across his upper lip, instead forming something more like whiskers on both sides. Everyone else in Dethklok gave him shit for it, but he soon found that he personally preferred this because it reminded him of a cat, the cutest and cuddliest creature of them all.

Toki spent practically all of his time in the warehouse since he didn't really have anywhere else to go. It felt too strange to him to stay in other people's houses, something he had never done as a child, so the warehouse seemed to be the closest place he could call home.

During practices, he was naturally always by Skwisgaar's side and quickly considered him his best friend; it was him, after all, who nearly singlehandedly granted him the privilege of becoming part of Dethklok, something Toki was constantly grateful for. Consequently, he had an ever present admiration for Skwisgaar, but at the same time, he was mildly terrified of him. He was the best guitarist he had ever seen and probably the best guitarist ever, and even compared to the brutal demands of his father back in Lillehammer, Toki had never been pushed to his limits like this. Although he had arrived too late to witness it, he often heard the Swede tell of the countless others who auditioned for second guitar and how effortlessly he had beaten them down. If it were anyone else, Toki would be skeptical of the story, but learning with Skwisgaar firsthand, he knew it was no joke.

For now, Dethklok was on a brief break due to Nathan's absence, and Toki didn't have much to do to occupy himself; he had found a GameBoy left behind on a bus seat once, its only cartridge Tetris, which was easy enough for Toki to understand.

As he leaned against the wall absorbed in the activity, he didn't hear the sound of the warehouse door creaking open or notice Skwisgaar approaching him until he was right in front of him. Toki looked up with a start, the other man practically glowing from the light of the sun reflecting his shining blonde hair and bright white clothes.

"Oh, hey Skwisgaar. Umm, there amen'ts no practices todays, right?" Toki asked nervously, unsure why the other guitarist was here. Skwisgaar's only two hobbies were playing guitar and sleeping around, only one of which he did with Toki.

"No, no practices, Toki, actuallys, I thoughts it might be nice to do somethings funs, like, as a rewards or somethings, because, ah, yous doing so wells!" Skwisgaar said with an usually toothy grin. This scared Toki.

"Rewards? For whats? I's just doins what I's supposed tos, rights?" he asked. Why would anyone give him anything for doing his one job and responsibility?

"Uh, but that doesn't means you can'ts, you knows, celebrates whats yous doings!" Skwisgaar said, shrugging. "Anyways, why don't wes goes out to get popskokles or somethings?"

Popskickles? Those colorful, sugary freezy things? FUCK yes! Toki thought for a moment, but a deep seated confusion and guilt immediately squashed his excitement.

"I don't knows, Skwisgaar, I means, I amen'ts done nothing specials..." Toki answered, knowing he shouldn't indulge in something he didn't deserve. Before he could continue wallowing in his childhood trauma, though, Skwisgaar sighed in annoyance.

"Okays, you know whats? I just says it. I's really askings ifs you wants to go on a dates." Skwisgaar huffed, leaning his hand against the wall above Toki's shoulder.

Wide eyed, Toki had no idea what to say to that, plus the gesture of Skwisgaar's hand beside his head made him even more flustered as the already quite tall man seemed to tower over him. He managed to stutter, "A dates? With mes? Wh-why? I mean..."

Suddenly, it dawned on him that this must be a practical joke of some sort. Quickly feeling very agitated and insecure, Toki grimaced. "Wait, this is a tricks, rights? Skwisgaar, I know yous a real womanzizer, and, and, I's never screwed nobodies, or dates nobodies, and you knows it! You just wants to laughs at stupid Toki, rights?"

Toki had very little carnal knowledge, and knowledge of love in general, for that matter. He had been caught once... experimenting... on himself when he was about 13, and the great stinging and ripping of the flesh on his back, arms, and legs made sure that he never did it again. He had vague ideas and understanding of wanting people to be nice to him and do nice things for him, he understood what pleasure and happiness were, but never formed any concrete ideas or desires for romance or sex in particular. Making it to America and hanging with Dethklok began to give him new information, though. Especially concerning Skwisgaar, his closest friend and mentor, Toki frequently saw the man with beautiful women fawning over him, laughing, flirting, making out. He could see how extremely easy and natural it was for him, and like everything else Skwisgaar did, Toki realized that he wanted in; both to be as good as him, as well as the object of his attention. But regardless of what he wanted, why would Skwisgaar want him too? It was literally impossible, Toki rationalized, and this must be some kind of stress test.

As his mind raced as he pored over his thoughts, he was suddenly brought back to earth with a firm shake as Skwisgaar put his hands on Toki's shoulders.

"No! I likes you, idiot! I really likes you, not just wants to screws you! And you should feels luckys, because I don't feels this way alls too much, okay?" Skwisgaar barked. His face was quite red, and from the way his expression looked mildly pained, Toki realized... Oh my God, he must be serious.

"Reallys? You means it? Wowee..." Toki felt his pulse quicken and he couldn't help but smile, looking away. How was this happening? Well, it didn't matter, he was going to take whatever shot he had.

"Then, yes, I accepts." he said, heart pounding in his throat. Skwisgaar looked relieved, his body relaxing as he let go of Toki's shoulders.

"So..." Skwisgaar awkwardly cleared his throat. "Can I gives you a kiss?"

Toki swallowed anxiously, but nodded. He thought dimly, aren't you supposed to kiss after a date? But honestly, he would let Skwisgaar have whatever order of events he wanted.

Skwisgaar closed his eyes and leaned in, and Toki felt paralyzed, overcome with awe and amourousness as he felt their lips meet. Unsure and unaware of the protocol, he kept his eyes open, not that he could see much, but he slowly glanced around, taking in the details of Skwisgaar's face. He, like anyone else, of course found the Swede handsome, and it felt like a secret treat to be able to see him this closely. Toki looked at his delicate pale eyelashes, noting that one had fallen just on the top of his sharp cheekbone. He could also see out of the corner of his eyes strands of Skwisgaar's blonde hair that looked so soft and inviting.

He couldn't meditate very much on what he saw, though, as his whole body was overwhelmed in this new and foreign pleasure, feeling the other man's lips and hands as though he was all around him. Through the haze, Toki weakly attempted to reciprocate in some way, bringing his shaking arms around Skwisgaar, admiring the feeling of his silky golden hair. The other man did seem to like it as he pressed his tongue into Toki's mouth, something else that surprised him, but he attempted to follow suit, curiously mirroring Skwisgaar's movements, excited to find how good it felt. Waves of pleasure coursed down from his lips through his core to his loins and he felt himself harden, a feeling Toki experienced semi often, but certainly never stoked. He thought faintly that if this is what kissing was always like, it would be enough pleasure for the rest of his life.

But suddenly, Toki felt a cool hand against his thigh. His eyes flickered down and he saw Skwisgaar slowly moving his long fingers towards his crotch. A surge of both intense panic and arousal shot through his body, and when the Swede palmed his very erect length with just a slight squeeze, it was more than enough to send him over the edge. But Toki had no time to enjoy the sudden orgasm as he was far too shocked and mortified, shoving Skwisgaar off of him with a slightly too hard push just a split second before he felt an unmistakeable warmth between his legs.

Skwisgaar's eyes opened in confusion and he stuttered out an apology; "Uh, I'm sorrys, we don't have tos-" "It's okays!"

In his extremely scrambled state of mind, Toki made sure to try to convey that he was totally enjoying himself, in fact, way too much. "But... I has to go nows! Right nows! See you laters, Skwisgaar!" Toki blurted, turning away and running off before he could see the other man's reaction.

He sprinted off to the only bathroom in the warehouse, silently thanking God that everyone was gone on vacation, slamming the door behind him. He vaguely heard the faint call of Skwisgaar yelling "popskokles?" as he stood panting over the sink, bewildered at what the hell had just happened to him. He very carefully unzipped his jeans and peeked inside, startled at how soaked he was.

Looking into the mirror, still breathing heavily, he suddenly felt tears stinging in his eyes. Emotionally and physically overwhelmed, in part because of sheer mortification, in part because of confusion, and in part because of great adoration, he couldn't hold on any longer, openly allowing himself to cry. Looking at his teary eyed face in the mirror, Toki also began to laugh, incredulous that _this_ had been the way he had his first orgasm. After years of strict self control and concentrated thoughts of abstinence, who would've guessed he would throw it all away to cum in his pants for his bandmate? Certainly it wasn't the most ideal scenario, but thinking to himself, he didn't regret it either. Wiping away his tears, Toki heaved a heavy sigh. This new life certainly was filled with surprises.

**Author's Note:**

> So I knew this is where I wanted to go from the start but after finishing the first part of Skwisgaar's POV I was like... "how can I write about Toki jizzing his pants in a way that is sweet and not weird and awful". This started from something that was like a borderline joke headcanon about Toki cumming as soon as he gets his dick touched but like honestly think about it!! He's massively repressed and (especially in early days) innocent PLUS Skwisgaar is a sex demigod... it's completely plausible and canon compliant. Anyway hope I made "jizz in my pants" trope endearing and not strictly comical
> 
> Other comments: uhhh I haven't kissed someone with my eyes open in a really long time lmao so I can't say I'm sure if what I described is an accurate field of vision  
> As a sidebar headcanon, concerning gay stuff, I feel that Toki was probably taught strict abstinence, so he doesn't have much thoughts concerning preference between women and men because he didn't think he was ever gonna experience romance and sex anyways lol
> 
> Please leave any comments critiques etc!! :-D


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